..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The Olympian is in my bed
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
