bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
