she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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