that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
