Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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