I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
