I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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