garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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