Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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