So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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