ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
