I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
