I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
