I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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