I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
