just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
