Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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