First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
