census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
