I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
