my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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