Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
