Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize