This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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