i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
