real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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