he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
