Clothes are such an inconvenience.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
