Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
