What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
