i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
