I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she told me i tasted like america
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
