im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And then my night got REAL pukey
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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