a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
