Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
