I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
