If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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