If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
