Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Boobs are out for the taking
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
