My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
