I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
