Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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