Nicole vs. Life
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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