I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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