I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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