You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
