that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize