"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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