i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
