I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize