we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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