So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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