Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
