totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
