office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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