Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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