I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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