Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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