In the future we'll all be gay
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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