i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
