They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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