He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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