It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
