Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
