dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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